Attempting a Whole Life

I received a  referral code for Imperfect Produce  while soliciting people's favorite subscription boxes in a social media post. After about a whole 10 minutes of looking over the site and viewing prices, I had chosen the small, organic box delivered every other week. To clarify what making a decision in 10 minutes of looking into a product means—you have to understand—I still have stuff in any given online shopping cart for a week before I either commit or delete it. So, it delivered at the end of the week (that just happens to be when they deliver to my area). I was sent an "oops" email saying that they were not able to add the Organic Pears and Mandarins and would be crediting me according to how much they would have cost me as well as the delivery fee (I guess I forgot there would be one?). But then this email made me realize, I had forgotten to get online during their selection process window to pick out what I actually wanted in my box. My anxiety peake...

This second fail comes just over a week after my first fail. And it was with free samples - twice. The first refreshing sample was at a community event in the park hosted by a division of our city planning commity. It was a hot day, I had forgotten my water and was extremely parched. Unfortunately, this small sample of homemade ice cream was making me even more thirsty (who would have thought?).  To the delight of my kiddo, she was able to finish the ounce-sampling paper cup filled with cookies and cream ice cream sans 3 mama sampling-spoon scoops. The second sample of the day was after the earlier event when we were picking up some Whole30 approved groceries at Trader Joe's. I did fine my last shopping trip there, passing by their sampling section with only the kid trying a refreshing sparkling juice beverage. This time they were sampling mini ice cream cones. Needless to say, I scarfed that sucker down. So, now I am working on the Whole32 - a bit more than a month.

It's been a work week since deciding I wasn't going to spend any more time applying for another job and instead focusing on my business and family. I do still have my day job for another month but after that, I am totally on my own. So far I have received 3 additional denial email (or "this job closed"), 1 interview, and an unexpected call from a talent agency that I had not updated my information with in over a year (who I love using but are difficult to find daycare for so last minute). So... two days after my commitment to stop at 100 applications, I gave in and nearly applied for another job (it was still open in my browser). When a friend sent me the position I was overwhelmingly in a better mood. The job posting was written for me! And I began the process over... I updated my cover letter and resume and uploaded them to the site. I filled out my name, address, phone number, and more detailed information - most of which was in my resume or cover letter. I h...

Original photo by  Parker Byrd / Unsplash Today I reached 100 applications submitted since graduating this spring (2 months ago). Every single one of these positions I applied to I would have loved. Truthfully, I applied to a few dream jobs that were a bit above my qualifications. Out of those I have received a total of 3 call-backs, 2 phone interviews, 2 in-the-running emails, 20 denial emails, and 26 with no updates in a month or more. I know this because I made a spreadsheet. Some dream jobs; all I would have loved I am not unemployed, mind you, I have work. I have a day job, I freelance, and I have money making hobbies. Though I have these opportunities I still want a position I can grow with along side my business. Unfortunately, spending this much time applying for jobs is taking away from time with my kiddo. I made a relevant assumption that as soon as I graduated from school I would be able to focus extra time to my family and increase projects for my busin...

Photo by Igor Ovsyannykov / Unsplash I had my first fail yesterday and I ain't even [that] mad. Though, I am feeling completely bloated. Here's my excuse/reason/whatever-you-wanna-call-it: I am sitting at work, minding my own business when a group of co-workers walk in and invite me down to have my pick at left over – catered – Mexican food. I had just finished my lunch of garlic shrimp with red bell peppers I had prepped the night before (it was delicious and filling) and I let them know. One of the women reminded me I could take it home to feed the kid-o. So, I trotted along side them chatting, enjoying the time away from my desk until we got to this hall way of heaven. This was AUTHENTIC Mexican food. I took a paper plate and added a piece of delicious smelling chicken breast next to a pile of colorful potato medley that in my mind I knew my child would scoff at. I took a pre-portioned tortilla covered in foil as it was passed to me. There were plates and bowls of so...

I can't cook.  A big motivator for doing the Whole30 was to "re-learn" how to cook. Don't get me wrong, I can follow a recipe as well as the next person. It's the lack of motivation to come up with meal ideas, the search for the right groceries, dealing with the heat of the oven in the summer, (insert another excuse here). Along with my limited (but increasing) motivation to cook, I was a bit nervous about me skipping meals when I am at work or out and about due to lack of options (and preparation). Fortunately, there are 2 Whole30 "approved" snacks: RxBar and Larabar that I have tried and would recommend. The true intent for these is to have them available when you you need nutrients but not as a dessert after your meal or to substitute your normal snacking. I have only tried the Mint Chocolate RxBar and... my goodness! It tastes so much like a dessert I had to check and recheck to see if it was compliant . The extremely sticky and chewy texture ...

I am writing this as I prepare for my first Whole 30 . I have cleared my fridge; researched what I can and cannot eat; shopped 3 different stores; and basically spent more time on preparing for this than a person probably should. But this is not just physically preparing, I am also mentally preparing. I have been an unhealthy dieter for much of my adult life. For at least the last 2 and a half years my eating habits have been shit and have only gotten worse as I got closer to graduating by prioritizing deadlines and substituting nutrition for frozen convenience foods. It has been too easy for me to let those continue to slip into to dinner menu when I've just finished an 8 hour day with a 2 hour commute and I still need to put in a few more applications. Yes, this mental prepping is necessary. So is holding myself accountable and making my experience accessible to people who need to mentally prepare themselves for their own change.